How to Stop Puppy Whining and Prevent Separation Anxiety
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Puppies whine to communicate that they want or need something. Our first line of defense is to meet their needs so there is little reason to whine. But, inevitably, we will miss something, forget or wait too long and have a whining puppy. It’s bound to happen.
If your puppy is whining and under 4 weeks old, sick, injured or very distraught, attend to them immediately. But in most other cases, your best long term solution is to only respond when your puppy is quiet. Fortunately, puppies learn very quickly so it should only require a few instances before they learn that whining doesn’t work.
*If your puppy is whining and under 4 weeks old, sick, injured or very distraught, attend to them immediately*
Three ways to respond to whining puppies
Respond immediately, every time (not recommended)
This is the fastest and easiest way to stop your puppy’s whining, however it reinforces whining as an effective tool to get your attention, making it more like to occur and persist into adulthood.
Respond immediately, special cases only (recommended only when necessary)
Sometimes you need your puppy to be quiet immediately (baby sleeping, someone on the phone, driving you mad, etc.) Walk into your puppy’s room. Don’t talk to, look or smile at your puppy. Step into pen or let puppy out of crate. Stand still, arms folded, head turned away until your puppy stops seeking your attention. After a few seconds of quiet calmness, interact with your puppy.
Respond after a period of silence (recommended)
This method clearly communicates to your puppy that whining gets them nowhere and provides an opportunity for them to practice deescalating their stress response. If you can be consistent and persistent, your puppy will learn quickly and stop the habit of whining (assuming you are taking steps to prevent their need to whine). This method is explained in the last section How to stop existing whiny behavior
Why don’t we recommend #1? Isn’t anything less kind of cruel?
Some people may think that not attending immediately to a whining puppy is cruel, and perhaps it is. But it seems that sometimes we have to be a little cruel to be kind. And what is more cruel, anyway: a few minutes of mild stress on a handful of occasions, or a lifetime of chronic stress, poorer health and less joy? Remember, this advice is not intended for puppies that are very young, sick or very upset. What constitutes ‘very upset’ is a judgement call but you’ll know it when you hear it. As long as you are doing your part to meet their needs before they start whining (see How to prevent whining), it should only take a few repetitions before they learn that whining isn’t very effective and stop.
Positive reinforcement is the act of doing or giving something the animal likes immediately following a behavior making that behavior more likely to occur again. But it is up to the teacher to consciously do this for desired behaviors only. If a puppy whines and you look at them and say, “Oh, it’s ok Puppy.” BOOM – Puppy just got what they wanted, your attention, and was positively reinforced for whining. Your intention was to show compassion; you didn’t want the puppy to feel lonely, and fair enough. But in reality, you were encouraging their anxiety and, just like any practiced habit, that behavior’s neurological pathway is strengthened with each repetition. Had you not responded the puppy would have learned that whining got them nowhere.
A whiny puppy will become a whiny adult and, potentially, a dog with full blown separation anxiety which is a miserable existence, for both dog and owner. Dogs with severe separation anxiety will destroy furniture, cages, doors, gatherings, vacations and even injure themselves. In this situation, your best case scenario is a massive reduction in everyone’s quality of life and hours and hours of behavior modification.
But there is terrific news! Puppies are infinitely easier to train and can learn with only a few repetitions. Following the guidelines in this article will help you prevent your puppy from developing whiny habits and benefit them for the rest of his life. And this is true whether you are dealing with one puppy or a whole litter.
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How to prevent whining
Aside from the urgent reasons listed above, puppies will whine when they are teething, hungry, thirsty, bored, lonely, too hot or cold, stressed or need to eliminate, so your first line of defense is to prevent these conditions, whenever possible.
NOTE: Sometimes there’s one or two troublemakers in a litter that do the majority of the whining but the advice is the same. You may think it is unfair to make the quiet puppies wait for their noisy siblings to simmer down but fear not. The quiet puppies are still learning that whining doesn’t work even when someone else is the culprit. They are also learning to be patient and to have self control in the presence of an anxious animal or frustrating event.
Teething | Hungry or Thirsty | Bored | Lonely | Too Hot or Cold | Stressed | Need to Eliminate
Teething
Around two to three weeks old, a puppy’s teeth will start pushing against his gums and, just like with human babies, this can be painful. It only takes a few days to break through but your puppies may be noticeably whinier during that time. Their chewing skills are pretty unsophisticated at this point but you can still provide toys for them to chew on. A damp rag can be rolled into a ‘tube’ and frozen. Softer toys may give them some relief. There isn’t a lot you can do for the poor little things but the time period is short and they all have to go through it. However, their mom may need some relief from those needle teeth. Be sure to give Mom a space where she can escape and get some alone time.
From about 4-8 months, puppies start to loose their baby teeth. You may find them on the floor or caught inside a toy and this is normal. Often, they will just swallow them. Be sure to give your puppy LOTS of chew toys like Kongs that are durable but have some rubbery give. You can step up your game by feeding all of your puppy’s food inside a chew toy. Step it up again by freezing the food inside. This will feel good on their sore gums but also take longer for them to finish and really get some good gnawing time in. It is important to set them up for success by not providing opportunities to chew on the wrong things (remember, to a puppy, everything is a chew toy). If you can’t keep an eye on your puppy, put them in a puppy safe enclosure with lots of chew toys.
Hungry or Thirsty
If your puppies have free access to food and water then your only challenge is keeping the bowls full, which can be harder than it sounds. Puppies will play with their food and water and tip their bowls over…constantly. Your best bet is to have a bowl that cannot be tipped over or one that can be mounted to the side of a cage or pen.
If you regulate your puppy’s access to food and water, which can be helpful for potty training and other kinds of training, then you’ll need to provide meals before they start whining. This means you may need to wake up before your puppy, or acquire an automatic feeder/waterer. If you’re not ready to ‘deal’ with your puppy when they wake up but need to feed them, make the arrival of food and water as quiet and unstimulating as possible. The sound of dry food hitting a metal bowl becomes a readily recognized sound that may excite your puppy. Prepare food the night before, lubricate any squeaky doors and avoid the noisy spots in the floor. Keep the lights low and don’t talk to or look at your puppy. Just put the food and water down and leave. If your puppy is going bananas as you approach with their food then you probably waited too long. In this case, refer to the section below How to stop existing whiny behavior
Bored
Puppies are like the robot-come-alive Johnny Five in the 1986 movie Short Circuit. They need input. Your puppy’s socialization period (between 3-16 weeks) is prime time for new experiences. Puppies in the wild will encounter most everything that is safe during that time frame, so they are particularly open to new experiences. This presents both an opportunity and a challenge to expose them to new sights, sounds, smells, textures, people, places and animals (gradually and safely) every day.
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Some new experiences will require supervision and some will not, use your best judgement. Halfway between naps is usually when you want to introduce new stimulation; puppies will often be over-energetic upon waking and too tired shortly before falling asleep. A new experience can be as simple as the presence of a new object in the room: chair, bicycle, ladder, mirror, statue, broom, unplugged vacuum (a great first step to desensitization), pet carrier and so on. You could even just move that object to a new location as the ‘new’ thing the next day. Cardboard boxes are great. They can be chewed, climbed on, have holes cut in them, connected together, etc. You can expose puppies to new sounds for about an hour per day, which can include music, TV, podcasts or desensitization sound tracks specifically created for animals, (visit our Desensitizing Sound Library). Add new toys and take away old ones, rotating them in and out. Shallow pools of water (I use a plastic sled) and sprinklers not only entertain puppies, but get them used to water. Taking your puppy to new places will depend on their vaccination status (ask your vet or foster coordinator) but even carrying your puppy to a new room in your house and eventually letting them walk around (do this right after your puppy has eliminated) counts as a new place. As their age and vaccines add up, this territory can grow to friends’ houses, pet-friendly stores, public places with low dog traffic, office buildings, etc. Plus, you won’t be able to stop strangers from approaching and loving on your dog. Positive reinforcement training is always a great way to occupy your puppy’s mind, teach them useful skills, build a relationship and it will wear them out faster than any play session.
Food-stuffed toys are great especially when you want your puppy to settle down like early in the morning when…must…coffee…first. Freezing the toys will make them last longer but some puppies get frustrated and give up. There are tons of ideas and recipes online. An empty toilet paper or paper towel roll makes a good, free food stuffer, although it is a little messier because they will tear it up.
Food-stuffed toys are great especially when you want your puppy to settle down like early in the morning when…must…coffee…first. Freezing the toys will make them last longer but some puppies get frustrated and give up. There are tons of ideas and recipes online. An empty toilet paper or paper towel roll makes a good, free food stuffer, although it is a little messier because they will tear it up.
Lonely
Even a litter of puppies can get lonely. Humans have selectively bred dogs to enjoy, and even need our company, for thousands of years, and kudos to us. So be sure to give your puppy love and attention, but only at times that work for your schedule. Plus, knowing how to be bored is a useful skill because, let’s face it, most dogs are home alone while their owners are at work and they need to learn how to occupy themselves appropriately.
If you are fortunate enough to be able to take time off of work when you get a new puppy, try to mimic a regular work day. If you spend all day snuggling, playing and training your puppy for two weeks and then, POOF! back to work, your puppy will be confused and distraught about the sudden change. Go about your normal morning routine, take your puppy on a walk, do a little training, a little playtime and then put your puppy in their long term confinement area (puppy safe pen or small room with a bed, bathroom, small play area, and water) with a food stuffed chew toy and a couple new toys. Start with short periods of time (30-60min) with you in the room watching TV, cleaning, working, etc. but do not give your puppy any attention – this includes eye contact. If your puppy whines, leave the room and only return when they are quiet. After their alone time is up and they are quiet, let your puppy out for a pee break, more training and playtime for 30-60min and then back to the confinement area with another food stuffed chew toy. (Incidentally, all of your puppy’s food should come from your hand or a chew toy for at least the first month) Gradually increase their ‘alone time’, even start leaving the room or house, but do not increase the ‘you’ time. Do this until they are ‘alone’ for the duration of a regular work day. Even if you only have a weekend before going back to work you can still help prepare your puppy for your absence. If you are able to hire a dog walker to let your puppy out in the middle of the day, at least for a few months, you will do your puppy and yourself a huge favor.
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Night time can be a long, lonely stretch, especially for a puppy that has just been separated from his littermates. Sometimes, just putting the crate in your bedroom will provide enough company for them to feel safe. You may need to sleep alongside the crate for a few nights, comforting them occasionally but trying to keep them inside as much as possible. Try playing calming music, nature sounds like crickets or a recorded heartbeat (visit our Calming Music Library). If your puppy can go 3 hours before they start whining, check on them after 2 hours. Perhaps a food-stuffed toy or raw bone given when they are put away, in the middle of the night or just before they wakes up will do the trick. When you pick up your puppy from the shelter or breeder, bring a few Snuggle Buddies (towels or blankets) that can be rubbed on your puppy’s littermates and/or mother. This provides them with a familiar, comforting smell to keep them company while they are alone. Bring a few Buddies so if one needs to be washed, you have backups. To keep them clean, only providing them when you want your puppy to settle down. Leaving the warm, soft, breathing bodies of their littermates can cause a major culture shock, but if you anticipate when they might feel alone and act beforehand, eventually they will learn to be content when alone.
Too Hot or Cold
A puppy’s ideal temperature range can vary depending on age, size and coat (fluffy vs flat). I had a cattle dog mix litter that was born in June and at around two weeks old they started whining in the middle of the day. They were really spread out, which is somewhat unusual at that age and a clue that they were too hot. After I wiped them down with a wet towel, they quieted down immediately. I fostered another litter of pitbull puppies in the winter with very thin, flat coats who shivered immediately when they were outside if it was below 60°F, even at 9 weeks. If you pay attention, they will let you know their preferred temperature range.
BE AWARE: Puppies under about 4 weeks old cannot regulate their own body temperature, so if they clump together tightly they may be cold and if they spread out they may be hot. Whenever you provide temperature control MAKE SURE THEY CAN ESCAPE TO A WARMER/COOLER AREA! People often worry that puppies will be too cold but accidentally overheat them, which can be life threatening. A puppy-safe thermometer in or near their enclosure is a good idea.
If they are too hot, a wet towel can be frozen to provide a safe cooling source. You could try adding a cold pack wrapped in a towel to their enclosure but mom or puppies could chew on it and some are toxic so use with caution. You could also fill a 2 liter bottle with water and freeze it but, again, use caution. A fan is a good way to cool hot puppies but be sure they can escape the breeze.
If they are too cold, a heat lamp or heating pad on one side of the enclosure is a good solution but be sure mom and puppies cannot access the lamp, pad or electrical cords. A space heater outside the enclosure works well but is a slightly less efficient delivery method.
*Be sure that all electrical wires and devices are out of reach. I heard a story of a house burning down after their puppy chewed an electrical cord.
Stressed
Some events like being locked in a crate, traveling in a car or getting a bath can be quite stressful for a puppy. Puppies may be required to confront these situations suddenly (e.g. emergency trips to the vet, dire need for a bath, etc.), so it is good to plan ahead. If you think from the perspective of a puppy, you can understand why they may not enjoy certain things. Take a bath for example: the puppy is lowered into a tub with strange acoustics and odors, the sensation of water is weird and it gets in their ears and up their nose, the floor can be slippery, the smell and sound of the soap is new, the way you massage their body is different, they have no idea how long it will last and they may be too hot or too cold at some point in the process. It’s not too far off from an alien abduction when you think about it!
Baby steps are the key to getting your puppy used to something that might otherwise be stressful. Don’t wait until your puppy is stinky or you have to take them to the vet. Begin exposing them to new things as soon as possible, definitely before 16 weeks. It is best to use short but frequent exposure sessions lasting anywhere from 10 seconds to a few minutes, 1-3 times per day, 3-5 times per week with lots of good treats until your puppy shows no fear. Always stop just before your puppy is ‘over it’ which is easier said than done. It is very easy to push for too much, too fast. Don’t move on to the next step until your puppy shows no fear during the previous step. You want each session to be at least a pleasant experience, if not a hootin’ good time with lots of treats.
For example, here’s how to get your puppy used to baths. Start by putting your puppy in the tub with no water and lots of treats, then take him out before he wants to leave. This will result in a puppy that is begging to get back in the tub or at least a puppy that thinks “huh, I get delicious things in there!” Next, put him in and turn on the water for 1 second and treat, treat, treat. Repeat until your puppy shows no fear of the water. Then, run the water for a couple seconds and treat, treat, treat. Then try getting his feet wet and treat, treat, treat. And so on. For rides in the car, start by just sitting in the car with your puppy in your lap with the car turned off. Then with the car running, then drive 20 feet, then a mile and so on, handing out treats all the way. Having an assistant is helpful and a necessity in the car.
There is a product called Adaptil which contains pheromones similar to those emitted by the puppy’s mother while nursing that can have a calming effect. Spray this in the tub, car, crate etc. just before you begin.
Need to Eliminate
This is usually only an issue if you are crate training and their crate does not have a potty area. The solution here is simple, let your puppy out before they have to go. Set a timer if you need to. Puppies will need to eliminate immediately upon waking, shortly after a play session begins (lots of bladder jostling), shortly after eating/drinking….ok, almost all the time. At 3 weeks, a puppy has about a 45min bladder capacity, 75min at 8 weeks, 90min at 12 weeks and 120min at 18 weeks.
My personal preference for potty training is to provide them with a puppy safe long term confinement area enclosed by a wire pen that has space for a bed, toilet (pee pads, tray of pine pellets etc.), play area, food and water. They have everything they need in a space that is safe where they can be left unsupervised. This situation may result in slower training to eliminate outside (since they have the option to eliminate in an indoor potty) but it will make your life and your puppy’s much easier and raising a puppy is hard enough…am I right?! They are still learning that the bathroom isn’t…everywhere. Overnight, limit their space to a small bedroom with water and a bathroom only. This will result in much more reliable use of the bathroom and easier cleanup in the morning.
NOTE: Puppies naturally want to keep their den clean and will move away from their sleeping area to eliminate. I start providing my foster litters with a potty at two weeks old (they won’t use it at this age but it gets them used to its presence and smell) and around 3-4 weeks they will start using it without any reinforcement. They practically potty train themselves if given the right setup. However, if your puppy was raised in a situation without a distinct potty area and stepping in their messes is a common occurrence they will be harder (but not impossible) to potty train.
How to stop existing whiny behavior
Don’t respond when they are whining…ever (ok, there are exceptions).
Respond immediately if your puppy is:
Under 4 weeks old
In need of medical attention
Clearly very distraught or panicking. As we said earlier, this is a judgement call but you’ll know it when you hear it.
Or in special cases where you need them to be quiet right away. Walk into your puppy’s room. Don’t talk to, look or smile at your puppy. Step into pen or let puppy out of crate. Stand still, arms folded, head turned away until your puppy stops seeking your attention. After a few seconds of quiet calmness, interact with your puppy.
For all other bouts of whining, don’t respond. The best way we’ve found to address whining is to play ‘Red Light, Green Light’.
Puppy is whining = Red Light
Puppy is quiet = Green Light
Start by standing just out of your puppy’s eye sight and wait for a few seconds of silence. Then step into the room. If your puppy starts whining, leave. If your puppy is quiet, smile and move forward. The moment your puppy whines again, freeze, look away and stop smiling. If the whining gets worse, start walking away. If your puppy is quiet, smile and move forward again. Repeat until you reach your puppy and address the reason(s) for their whining.
I won’t lie. This game…isn’t a fun game. It’s a lot of you standing around waiting, listening to your puppy whine and questioning every decision that led you to this moment.
First, I highly recommend earplugs* for everyone in the house. Second, take long, slow, deep breaths and remind yourself that puppies learn very quickly so you’ll only need to do this a handful of times. If it doesn’t start to work after several repetitions, you may consider consulting your vet or a dog trainer.
*Earplugs can be a major choking hazard to pets and small children so take caution
Conclusion
You wouldn’t wait until your kids were hungry and complaining to start cooking dinner and puppies are no different. If he has no reasons to whine and whining never works then you will have a quiet, relaxed puppy. Puppies learn incredibly fast so a small amount of work will have a huge return on investment. DON’T GIVE UP. I know whining can be very irritating but allowing them to practice being anxious as a puppy can ruin their quality of life for the rest of their life. Ask any owner about life with a dog that has separation anxiety. They will sigh with a faraway look in their eyes and say, “I love my dog…but…” and then tell you a woeful tale of never being able to leave their dog home alone, take a vacation or go to the bathroom in solitude. Follow these guidelines and you’ll make a lifelong impact on your puppy’s ability to calmly deal with the, usually, boring reality of the human world. If you’ve followed the suggestions in this article but are still not able reduce or eliminate your puppy’s whining, seek the advice of your vet or an experienced trainer.